


Stay

by mansikka



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-05-18 10:20:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5924859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mansikka/pseuds/mansikka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean tries to find the words to make Cas stay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay

_ Stay _ .

 

The word ricochets around Dean's head, as it always does when Cas is about to leave.

 

He knows Cas can hear it; Cas confessed to him long ago that all of Dean's thoughts about him had such...longing laced within them, that they came out as prayers. And that he had no way of avoiding hearing them.

 

Not now. Not since they had become what they were to one another.

 

Cas had also told him he'd never act on anything Dean didn't say out loud.

 

Which is mostly good, Dean thinks. Mostly. It'd be great if Cas would bend the rules once in a while though. Help him out when his words get stuck.

 

That would be most of the time, then, he acknowledges. Which is exactly why Cas waits to hear him speak.

 

He even knows that Cas deliberately makes his departure obvious, leading up to it in a way Dean can't fail to see. To give him time to do something about it.

 

Cas stands and stretches, making small, precise movements that Dean knows very well, and watches intently.

 

Dean fails, every time, to keep his eyes from following the line of buttons from Cas' neck, down over Cas' toned chest, to where they disappear beneath the buckle of his belt.

 

He fails to drag them away when Cas swings his jacket up over his head and slides it awkwardly down onto his shoulders, following it with his trenchcoat, both items of clothing Dean wanting nothing more than to help him straight back out of.

 

He fails to drop his eyes from Cas' gaze the moment he catches it, completely unable to tear them away.

 

Cas knows. Exactly what he is doing.

 

They have done this dance far too many times now for them both not to know the steps to perfection.

 

In theory, Cas should just stay, because he can. Because he always does. There is rarely a night when he doesn't end up either wound around Dean like a shield against the night, or curled up in Dean's arms like he is the most precious thing Dean has ever held.

 

But where Dean needs understanding, Cas needs reassurance. There have been far too many misunderstandings and disappointments between them for this relationship to not be a little broken and needing constant tending to.

 

Perhaps it should be that way anyway; working on it rather than just letting it be, and letting hurts fester, and suddenly finding themselves falling apart somewhere down the line when that's not what either of them want in the slightest.

 

They're doing pretty good with it so far, after all.

 

Great, actually. The best. The most whole either of them have ever been, or known.

 

Tonight is a night where stay has the sub-heading of come back. Because Cas really, genuinely, actually has to leave, at least for a little while. As much as neither of them want him to.

 

Such need would feel like weakness for anyone else, but for them, it just is.

 

It doesn't make either of them any better at asking for what they want though.

 

No one does a staring competition quite like Cas and Dean.

 

Sam still finds it hilarious the way they look at each other as if trying to send subliminal messages. What he'd probably find even funnier is that they still do that when they're alone, when words get too complicated between them.

 

So that's where they are now. Staring each other down, drifting to within arm's reach of one another unconsciously, the pull that is them giving them a nudge where they themselves often cannot.

 

One more step.

 

Simultaneously, they raise their arms, and then they're melting into one another as though they hadn't just been in each other's embrace only a few minutes ago.

 

Dean's arms wrap firmly around Cas, leaning his head down on to his shoulder and into the crook of his neck. Cas' arms are tight around Dean's back, his nose nudging against Dean's jaw line.

 

And they breathe each other in.

 

“How long do you think it'll take?” Dean asks, not lifting his head, so that his lips can brush against Cas' skin as he speaks.

 

Cas presses a soft kiss into stubble. “I assume no more than a few hours. We should be finished by dawn.”

 

Dean sighs heavy, and long, and his shoulders drop a little. “Guess I'm not sleeping till dawn, then,” he mumbles into Cas' ear.

 

“I could help you sleep,” Cas offers, and Dean knows he could. A little  _ light's out _ from Cas' grace and he'd sleep like a baby and wake refreshed and ready for anything. But he doesn't want that at all.

 

“You  _ do  _ help me sleep. By being  _ here _ . With me.”

 

Cas rewards him with a series of kisses trailed down from his jaw to his adam's apple, and over to his pulse point in his neck. “Then I shall return as soon as I am able.”

 

Dean sighs again, only this time it's in relief. “Well you know,” he begins, hands dropping to Cas' waist and pulling him very lightly against him, not that they weren't already as close as they could be in current circumstances. “I don't have anywhere to be in the morning. I mean I'd prefer not to lay awake the whole night, but. If you're late back. We can lay in a while. If you want,” he adds with a kiss to Cas' temple.

 

Dean feels Cas' lips curve into a smile against his neck. “I would like that,”

 

Dean brings his hands up to cup Cas' face and tilts it up so that he can kiss him exactly how he wants. The kiss is full of regret that Cas is leaving, and promise that he is coming back.

 

Dean leans their foreheads together for a moment then purposely steps back from him, although reaching to loop his fingers through Cas' as their hands swing between them.

 

“Soon, okay?” Dean asks, giving Cas' fingers a light squeeze.

 

“As soon as I am able,” Cas reassures him again.

 

“Sooner,” and Dean winks at him, making Cas' face light up with a smile.

 

“Soon,” he echoes with a small nod.

 

“Be careful, okay?” Dean knows he worries too much, but he wouldn't be who he is without that. And Cas doesn't object or accuse him of being overprotective; he's just the same when the situation is reversed.

 

“Of course,” he agrees, squeezing Dean's hands before dropping them and taking a step back.

 

This is part of the dance. Backing away from one another in stages whilst not breaking eye contact.

 

Committing the image of each other to memory just in case. Not taking any chances in case this is their last.

 

It's dramatic to think like that, and not only a little maudlin, but in their lives, they know what happens if you get complacent.

 

And even when you don't.

 

So the dance continues.

 

“See you soon?” Dean asks, a final request for the promise he knows Cas always does his best to keep, no matter how hard it is.

 

“See you soon, Dean.”


End file.
